Wanted: Money

Remember how last spring I posted to my school division’s employee classifieds a want ad for advice and then, later, one begging for questions? I resumed the habit just last week, with this ad:

Wanted: Money
Small amounts of cash can be sent to me via interschool mail. To respond with large amounts of cash, please email me and I will arrange a pickup time. Checks can be sent to me via interschool mail. Please make checks payable to me, with the memo “slush fund.” Sorry, credit cards not accepted at this time.

The first response came back rather quickly, from my school nurse: You are SOO funny! 🙂

The second response was more involved: Do you accept high-fives? I have a stock-pile of them in one of my Swiss bank accounts that I need to move around. I could transfer them to your slush account as soon as tomorrow morning. They are available as single high-fives, two-handed high-fives, and I believe I have some pats-on-the-back left in one account. Just let me know.

The third response was more ominous: My principal knocked on my classroom door and interrupted my reading to my class in order to call me out into the hall.

“I get your joke,” he said, grinning.

At first I wasn’t sure what he was talking about; I’d considered telling him that I’d be willing to sign up for the still-open school wellness ambassador position but I was worried I’d have to go to cross-county meetings and therefore wouldn’t be able to ride my bike to school.

“But not everyone in the county gets it. We’re laughing about it downstairs, but another principal at another middle school is a bit up in arms about a teacher asking from money.”

“I can remove the listing,” I said, also chuckling.

“Yes, please remove it,” he said.

So I still have received no monetary contributions from colleagues.