I recently got the ridiculous idea to have students write an entire essay based on an analogy about their lives.
I got this idea because I knew there was a question on the then-upcoming first-quarter benchmark test about analogies, even though (I learned this week) analogies aren’t even included in our seventh grade curriculum. In other words, aside from their innate value, analogies are worthless. The bottom line? analogies : end-of-year test :: really cold ice : sun
Yup. Not there.
So anyway, as I guided students through writing this essay (“guided” : drove with a whip :: “ouchie” : spinal tap) I realized that I hadn’t actually explained to students how to write an expository essay. I seemed to have forgotten about teaching them that. And while I have been working with them on writing paragraphs, they seem not to have gotten that, either, even though I didn’t forget about teaching that.
Basically, paragraph construction instruction : no-better paragraphs :: no essay-writing instruction : no-better essays
Yup. Pretty consistent, there.
As a side note, here is a great video about paragraph unity. I promote it to my students as the most boring video in the world, and after we watch it some of them often agree that it is in fact so boring it’s great.
As another side note, I didn’t really teach them about connotations, either, so I’ve sort of been trying to explain them as we go. As in, abecedarian : juvenile :: teacher : inflictor
Today I finally highlighted the topic and a few other key sentences in my sample essay and said that they must have these exact sentences in their essays, which then greatly improved.
Here is my off-the-cuff sample essay–which pretty much no one laughed at when I read it aloud–complete with highlights:
At the end of a long day of teaching, I hurry home to play my guitar. For me, playing guitar is fun just like teaching pays the bills. This analogy is true and has both positive and negative connotations. However, this analogy isn’t all true.
This analogy about my life is true in many ways. When I want to have fun, I play guitar and sing. The highlight of my week is often band practice (I like to say–it’s true–that I perform music mainly because I like to practice with my band). When I want to earn money, I go to school and teach. My salary helps pay for my guitars, and keeps me from being homeless.
The analogy has a number of connotations, both positive and negative. On the bright side, the word “fun” makes most people (including me) feel positive. Life is worth living when it’s “fun”! However, saying that the purpose of being a teacher is the money suggests the negative connotation that I teach only for the money. This could mean that I hate my job, which gives a negative feeling.
However, this analogy isn’t completely accurate. Playing guitar isn’t always fun. It can be painful and expensive, and it takes a lot of time away from other activities like being a nice dad. On the other hand, I have more reasons than just money for teaching. I enjoy students almost always, some days, and I find a lot of satisfaction in assigning essays that no one likes to write.
In conclusion, playing guitar is like teaching: each has its own purpose. While it may be a mostly true analogy, it doesn’t prove completely true, and gives mixed connotations. That said, after I put in my time teaching today, I’m going home–to play guitar.
