For our two upcoming field trips one student’s mom, who, according to my colleagues, has never expressed any concern about HT’s complete lack of work ethic or effort, had said that the student would not be able to go unless both she and her boyfriend could chaperon.
There are certain parents that teachers love to have along on field trips as chaperons. Those parents are generally supportive of teachers and public education, excited about learning, and pleasant. They also generally have a sense of social norms and etiquette.
Those, however, are not these.
I happened to have a free chunk of time yesterday when another teacher asked me to go along with her to the office to talk with HT’s mom and her boyfriend of three years. They’d stopped by to pay for the field trips, but were uncertain as to what to pay, since they’d not heard about chaperoning, which was because their initial phone contact with one of HT’s teachers had consisted mainly of cursing at her, because teachers usually handpick chaperons, and because our school policy is that chaperons must be legal guardians.
“Let me check about Mr. L– being able to go,” I said, and left them sitting with HT on the bench outside the office. I tracked down the principal in charge of our trips in the cafeteria, who made a concession: If HT’s mom was along, the boyfriend could also come.
I conveyed the message.
“I can’t do the walking required for either of the field trips,” the mom said, lifting her cane. “And I’m not sending HT out of state or on the other trip without one of us. No way. I’ll keep him home instead.”
“I’ll take him trout fishing instead,” said the boyfriend. “Want to go trout fishing, HT?”
This whole exchange was an example of the occasional times when I am able to recognize that the other party involved is being irrational, idiotic, or otherwise out of touch with simple reality; I therefore could retain complete ability to be extremely pleasant and diplomatic.
“He will still be required to come to school,” I said, smiling my condolences, “even if he doesn’t go on the trips. Missing school would be an unexcused absence.”
“We’ll be getting a lot of fishing in,” the boyfriend said.
They stood up and headed toward the exit.
“You can tell the principal to kiss my,” the mom said, pointing to her butt as they walked out.
Not long later, the principal stopped by my room. “Mr. L– is able to go,” she said. “I hadn’t realized he has already been one of our Watch D.O.G.S.” (These “Dads Of Great Students” show up to walk around in our building as an additional community presence in the school.) “Apparently he’s in the system that lists guardians after all.”
“Oh,” I said. “Okay.”
Not long later, another teacher stopped by to tell me that the parents had called central office, who had called the school.
So now we have a chaperon.