In my lap at this weekend’s celebration of K’s birthday, N and P brushed up on their latest gossip:
Post-Feeding Euphoric Stupor

Faith
I have a student with the name “Faith.” As is customary, prior to my team’s meeting with her parents to work out a plan for her scholastic achievement, I emailed the entire school staff to invite other comments. As I had just emailed about another student’s parent conference, I wrote in the email subject line, “Faith, too.” I received one reply, from my colleague D, who wrote, “I have that, too.” My response was brief: “And hope, and love?”
Faith. It takes many forms.
The middle school students I saw this week on morning bus duty had faith, faith that made the last school bus step not a step only but a platform from which to leap into the new day.
In a classroom game of “form words using index cards with random base words and affixes,” I watched as members of both the boy and girl teams, full of faith that the last minutes of playing time would determine their personal success, jumped up and down excitedly while awaiting their turn to add a word to the list.
Not to be outdone by my students, I, too, have faith. On my school-wide announcement about a special activity for a group of select students, I wrote, “Prize options will include an outdated Napoleon Dynamite calendar, and piece of Styrofoam, and much more,” in faith that eccentricity will beat out practicality any twelve-year-old’s day.
And it did. The colleague who assisted with the activity, when I initially told her about the prizes, seemed unimpressed by my selection of trinkets and otherwise useless objects. “I’ll bring some prizes, too,” she said, and she did–really good candy bars, one of which I pilfered to give to my dear wife.
In the introduction to the activity–the students were to map out a road trip and could earn points for each city, state, national park, etc.–I told the contestants about the prizes.
“First, we have these candy bars,” I said. I could just sense the students’ ears perking up.
Then, holding up the objects, I said, “And we also have an outdated Napoleon Dynamite calendar, a piece of Styrofoam–” but was interrupted by at least two students calling out, “Oooh, I want that!” My colleague was floored.
At the end of the contest, the winners who chose candy seemed pleased, but not as excited as the boy who chose the Napoleon Dynamite calendar (“I’m going to give it to my dad,” he said), or the girl who chose the Styrofoam (“Yes!”), or even the boy who picked out a rock with some fossil impressions in it.
“What am I going to do with a rock?” he asked.
One Day of the Iraq War
Life’s Persistent Questions
Last night while waiting in the darkened study for her bath, N pondered life’s persistent questions:
She was surprised to find that some were humorous:
Randomization of Profundity
Tonight washing dishes with N looking on, I found myself singing “If I Were a Rich Man” from Fiddler on the Roof. M and I are resisting living beyond our means, so that we can prioritize our family life, and at times such as these, when we are trying to make decisions about buying and selling a home, locating or relocating, etc., we realize that this prioritization may cost us in some–albeit less important–ways, like not buying the beautifully perfect homestead because we don’t want house payments that are half of our income. That would be too stressful, like that stressfully long sentence you just read.
So maybe house hunting isn’t our calling. It seems we either end up finding really cool places that are too expensive, affordable houses that are falling apart, or affordable, fix-up-able houses in highly inconvenient locations.
Today Old Fart emailed a photo to me, titled “Redneck Mansion.” According to snopes.com, it’s actually a play set, not a once-in-a-lifetime real estate opportunity. Here I should make some profound statement such as, “This photo reminds me to maintain a sense of humor in my life so that I don’t get all stressed about little stressors.”

The trouble is, I don’t feel quite like making any profound statements, other than I’m terrifically glad that the world doesn’t feel the need to know whenever I have anything like a urinary tract infection (go Robert Byrd! Is the West Virginia stock market crashing yet?). Instead, I’m going to recount my two favorite jokes from the Prairie Home Companion joke show this past weekend:
George W. Bush stopped at a Burger King drive-thru window and asked for two Whoppers. “Okay,” said the BK employee. “You’re an intellectual genius and the best president ever.”
(Sorry, but I can’t remember the other favorite joke. I even woke M up to see if she remembers what my favorite jokes were, but she could only remember the Whopper one, too. Sorry. And sorry, M.)
Well. Enough said. I need to get some shuteye, myself!
buNny
Today N spent some quality time with the long-eared bunny given to her by her great aunt P:
A Theory of Devolution
This morning, to combat the jet-lag grogginess of springing forward, I brewed coffee. I never brew coffee for myself, and especially never never the full-strength, caffeinated, no-mamsy-pamsies-allowed house blend Cafe Salvador.
This is, in fact, relevant to what follows.
On the Friday, March 7 episode of Fresh Air, my hero Terry Gross interviewed two scientists who both discussed the creation of the world while asserting their respective atheist and Evangelical Christian perspectives. While I found both men thoroughly convincing, I thought it wouldn’t hurt for me to add my own thoughts to the fray, not about Genesis or evolution, but about the current trend of devolution that is happening here in the world. Let me ‘splain.
Some flukies argue that the Earth is a single organism called “Gaia” and that AIDS, cancer, and the like are this organism’s immune system in action. I haven’t researched this theory at all, really, but I have heard (and it makes sense to me) global warming assessed as Earth’s fever, to rid itself of us malevolent microbes of humanity.
This bucking humanity process could be a legitimate part of evolution. The complication, however, is that so is death stemming from poor eyesight, for example. After all, in the old days, a blind person probably wouldn’t have made it too far except as prey for fast-food-loving cannibals. Thank goodness that now I and many others can see quite clearly, if only through our glasses, which have enabled us to avoid succumbing to the vicious reality of natural selection.
And we’re weaker for it. Perhaps solely because of my glasses, which allow me to be gainfully employed, alert to many dangers, and intelligent looking (and therefore worthy of marital bliss), I can see vividly enough to procreate and pass along my imperfect vision through my imperfect genes. Add my personal miscontribution to the human race to every last imperfection preserved through human-created technology worldwide, and it becomes clear that the cumulative effect of human ingenuity is the perpetuation of continually weakening human DNA.
Of course this isn’t just about genetics. It’s also about, for example, environmental usurpation (Hey! Go live in the desert with air conditioning and a green lawn!), or the sharing of deep thoughts instead of sleeping.
Coffee, anyone?
Footnote: This post has been quoted by a money-making blogger!
Family Reunion Bath Time

The Reader
We may be growing a book lover. At least, she loves staring at our bookshelf.





She was surprised to find that some were humorous:





