• goodbadi

    Prime

    It’s the stuff of Alison Krauss’s recording of But You Know I Love You, of a barefooted dash to the compost bin across a back yard covered with a foot of snow, of a bittersweet waking up wanting to burst for the sheerest of happinesses even while crying.

    A few weeks ago in a faculty meeting a writing teacher had us write to a prompt; one that listed prime numbers and asked what mine was. I wrote about 31, my age: I’m healthy, wealthy, and surrounded by all that is good, so much so that sometimes it hurts.

    My dad’s back-pain immobilization on Saturday (earlier in the day of the birthday bash; in the video, he’s sitting in a rocking chair at the dinner table) drove home what I’d already known even as I find effortless the noticing of wonders around me: that even the best of living can instantly–and inevitably will–deteriorate. It’s knowledge that makes me crave soaking up my good life even as I mourn its certain hardships.

    The dream I awoke from one morning this week mirrored what I awake so often find myself doing: simply marveling, overwhelmed to tears, at our daughter. (As my mom has said in real life, “How can you stand it?”)

    Once, back in the eighties, Mom found Dad sitting in a rocking chair listening to a record and humming along with Mary Hopkins’s Those Were the Days.

    “What were your ‘days’?” she asked him.

    “These are,” he said.

    And these sure feel like they’re mine.

  • goodbadi

    Holy Snow! and Another Off-the-Cuff Religous Thought

    I’m still enjoying this snow we’ve had, but probably not as much as those holier than I, and so I couldn’t resist linking to this image–even though my sister-in-law beat me to it.

    In the meantime, I’m with the U.K. priest when it comes to okaying certain shoplifting scenarios. I’m also with the commenter who recalled the quote from the priceless O Brother, Where Art Thou?: “Even if that did square with the Lord, the state of Mississippi is a little more hard nosed.” I’m also with the police, who said that people “should turn to charitable organizations and government agencies for help, rather than take matters into their own hands…. To do this would make the downward spiral even more rapid, both on an individual basis and on society as a whole.” But mostly I’m with the priest: “The point I’m making is that when we shut down every socially acceptable avenue for people in need, then the only avenue left is the socially unacceptable one.”

  • goodbadi

    Church Nuts

    This morning’s Sunday school hour discussion at our church focused on reducing the (currently 85 percent time) pastor’s hours. We broke into small groups to gather feedback for the leadership team about making the position quarter time, for a salary of $17,000.

    One lady in my group said, “I work full time in the poultry plant and get paid $18,000 a year. My husband is a chicken catcher, and he gets paid that much, too.” (Only later did I think of a semi-suitable response: “Your jobs deserve higher pay.”)

    (Speaking of poultry, the Sunday before, I listened as a local man told a small audience during the coffee break that if you hit a turkey in the back of the head in the summer, it will instantly die, but in the winter you can hit it all you want and it won’t die.)

    From another group came a lone comment encouraging growth: “Maybe we could make fliers and pass them door-to-door inviting people to come to our church. Maybe it could say, ‘Now accepting different beliefs.'”

    Little did the speaker know that my attendance was evidence that variational doctrine had already entered the fold, albeit unannounced. An overview:
    ….The demand for eye-for-an-eye, sacrifice-based justice is a human tendency incorrectly attributed to God when it comes to Jesus’ death. I don’t think God Who Is Love requires–or ever required–bloodshed.
    ….Real “salvation” is what Zaccheus experienced. This pitifully selfish and thoughtless man became enabled not through the Jesus-centered, murderous attempt to quell rebellion but through gracious opportunities to make things right and refocus on that which is life giving and just. After all, according to C.S. Lewis (via Anne Lamott), grace is the only element of Christianity that separates it from all other religions. (By the way, its very presence refutes God’s bloodlust theology.)
    ….The Bible reveals a lot about how people of Judeo-Christian lineage have understood God throughout the years, understandings that I imagine might be flawed and continually developing.

    Doctrine aside, I recently provided my own input to the church, since M and I have decided to attend: “Some things I like to experience in church are study, singing, and support…. The small size of this church is to its advantage: the services and structures can be flexible, intimate, and meaningful–maybe it’s a house church with a building. Here’s something I envision: Sunday morning services of singing, discussion, sharing, meditations/sermons–whatever. I’m all for abandoning traditional expectations and just letting planners decide how the morning can go. I’m also all for weekly potlucks (maybe with some organizational oversight) for after the service. This will allow for further meaningful connection with each other. As things develop, small groups and mission-focused groups could continue or form as people want.”

    Selah and Amen.

  • goodbadi

    Heat 2: The Logger Boyfriend

    Today I asked a colleague who grew up in the vicinity of The Logger if she knows him. It’s a small community, after all, and she seems to know everybody.

    We were walking to the cafeteria to pick up our students from lunch when I asked her, and all at once she was no longer walking beside me, but was instead perched on her high (and I mean high) heels and swaying a bit as if she would lose her balance, planted as she was there in the middle of the hall.

    “Yes,” she said, covering her mouth. “We dated for five years. We were young, 16-22.”

    I quickly assured her that it was just a question out of the blue, and explained the situation. She said that normally he would be true to his word, but she’s heard through the grapevine that he may have “fallen off the wagon. He’s such a redneck [not a derogatory term at my school], and he was always all about seeing how hard he could work, and earning a good name for himself, so I’m surprised at this. Maybe something’s wrong.”

    “If his dad knows about it, though, it’ll get done,” she said, and recited to me the man’s parents’ home number.

    And then she added, “He’s sort of stalkerish,” she said. “He knows when my husband leaves for work, and at our wedding I had a friend who’s a cop on the lookout in case he showed up. Now his brother’s dating the girl who lives across the street from me, so I think that’s how he keeps tabs.”

    So for now I might continue sitting back and waiting to see what will happen next. Might my colleague’s grapevine shiver with its exciting gossip–Has The Logger indeed fallen off the wagon?–and firewood show up at my house?

    I’m tempted to bet on it, even without calling his dad.

  • goodbadi

    All Wrapped Up In Christmas

    Most of the free Christmas mp3 downloads from Amazon.com are quite nice (just skip the explicit selections).

    A recent one was, until I listened more carefully to the lyrics, rather prophetic. Tracy Lawrence’s All Wrapped Up In Christmas details what for many people consume this season: Christmas lights, shopping, the tree, Walmart (and “vicious,” in the same two lines), and so on.

    The last line clinched the song for me, though, when I first heard it: “Now don’t get all wrapped up in Christmas,” it said.

    I thought.

    Actually, it says, “Now go get all wrapped up in Christmas.”

    Good grief!

  • goodbadi

    Heat

    I’m pretty good at getting what I want (remember the washer/dryer fiasco?), so when the load of logs that was to become “4-4.5 cords” turned out to be only 2.46 cords (with generous measuring), I went straight to the phone to call the guy whom we’d overpaid $105.

    As soon as I explained to the logger about the amount of firewood I’d received, he said, “I’ll make it right to you. Would you like the money, or more logs?”

    I was a bit taken aback at his non-defensiveness. “Logs,” I said, and he said to expect a call and logs from him in the next two weeks.

    But when two weeks passed and I hadn’t heard a peep, I called him again.

    “I was sick,” he said. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it right to you.”

    Two weeks later, he said, “It’s been so wet, I haven’t even been able to get out to bring in logs.”

    Two or three weeks later, when I said I’d like the money back if he couldn’t get logs, he offered to bring me a cord of seasoned and split wood instead of the logs.

    “That’d be great,” I said.

    “I’ll call you the night before I come,” he said. “I’ll be there Thursday or Friday.”

    By Friday evening, I was a bit peeved. As I loaded our wheelbarrow to bring in wood from the stack left behind by the previous residents, I pondered and plotted: I could tell him I’d advertise myself on craigslist as a reference for him; I could ask him point blank if he was just saying he would bring wood, or will he, really? Or maybe I could call him and say something like, “Well, I don’t like being ripped off, and I’ll never buy firewood from you again, so there!”

    But then the truth of capital punishment–that when we kill murderers we become murderers ourselves–dawned on my furrowed brow, and I realized that I could just simply choose not to be a jerk even though he’s a crook.

    So maybe I have been ripped off. At least I still have my self respect.

    When I called Dad to ask him to bring along his chimney brush next weekend, he said that he had thought their water tank would be installed in July–and just this morning he wrote out the check paying for the completion of the project earlier this week.

    It’s possible; maybe the rest of what’s due will one day come my way. In the meantime, becoming a non-Scrooge sits higher on my bucket list than does holding a contentious grudge or acting nastily.

  • goodbadi

    Bumper Stickers

    This morning I realized why I was surprised when yesterday a friend associated our bumper sticker (“War is terrorism on a bigger budget”) with me–I’d forgotten that M and I had used that sticker to cover up what was there previously: “Sassy Girl.”

    Another piece of bumper sticker news: I’ve often thought it’d be great to have a bumper sticker on my bike that says “My other car is a car.” I just googled the phrase and found that such stickers exist–but my bike fender’s not wide enough. Oh shucks, guess I’ll have to save a couple dollars.

  • goodbadi

    Marital Date

    On our date last evening, after savoring our three small Dairy Queen sundaes (we had free coupons), M and I stopped over at Barnes and Noble to buy The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

    Now, I used to own the book, but I think I must have loaned it out, apparently for good. I’d bought it after visiting a Sunday school class that I attended only once or twice just before M and I started dating. I would have gone back for more Sundays, probably, but I quickly became too otherwise encumbered.

    We sat there, last night, in the outer limits of the bookstore’s indoor cafe and did journaling-based marital self reflection using the library edition (on Monday it is due for the final, nonrenewable time) and the one we pulled off the store shelf.

    But self reflection in a bookstore cafe is quite nearly impossible. As I commented to M, “There are just too many books about too many things.” How could I possibly journal when feet away from our table of contemplation were the titles How to Write What You Want and Sell What You Write (I just now saw that they start at fifty cents on amazon.com) and the No Plot? No Problem! Novel-Writing Kit (apparently more effective, considering amazon’s $7.51)?

    And there were other people to watch, people absorbed in books or magazines or in mindless monologues about what they’re reading, like one husband to his wife two tables away from us: “This woman had a 19-pound baby…. ‘And I quote, “She has a lot of mental illness; she’s had a needle in her arm for 34 years.”‘… What do you say we go eat something?…. Did you know Sandra Bullock has a sister? Doesn’t look anything like her. Well, just maybe around her eyes. I see Sandra’s wearing a Rolex Mariner.”

    I struggled but managed to finish scribbling my thoughts. It was getting late–almost 8:30–and as unprivate as any private discussion there would have been, we bought the book and took our notes with us for the drive home.