Yesterday I shared Ron Clark’s Rule 55 with my students. It reads:
“Be the best person you can be. Throughout life, you are going to be lonely at times, you are going to have your heart broken on occasion, and you are going to feel as if something is missing from your life. No life is lived without some amount of pain and heartache. No matter how bad things get, however, make sure you are always developing into the kind of person you want to be, and the kind of person others will want to be around. It is important not to let external factors keep you from developing who you are and the person you are trying to become. Always make sure there are seven things in your life at all times: laughter, family, adventure, good food, challenge, change, and the quest for knowledge. With all of those things, you will grow, enjoy life, and become the type of person you can be proud of. You will also be in a better position to help others, give advice, and learn from your mistakes, because you will be a stronger, healthier, and happier person.” (The Essential 55. New York: Hyperion, 2003.)
I asked the students to respond to three questions: What bad thing is happening in your life? How can you be who you want to be even if that bad thing is happening? What can you do differently to make yourself a stronger, healthier, and happier person? I explained to students that I would collect their responses only if they wanted me to, and that I would not ask them to share or read what they’d written.
Some students treated the whole thing playfully, like the one boy who wrote in response to the third question, “Eat more broccoli?”
In one class, however, after allowing time for students to write, I asked for thoughts about the activity itself. One girl spoke, and she said that she didn’t like it because she likes to come to school to be with friends and forget her problems.
She was one of the students who handed in her paper. It and the others I read were full of tough domestic situations: a drinking dad who often lands in jail and desires no contact with family, a sister with three children by different dads, a dad who is away working, parents divorcing, a faith kept secret from friends, motherlessness, and many more heart-wrenching experiences no twelve year old should have to deal with.
I tried my best, in my own brief responses, to acknowledge their difficulties and their courage, and handed their papers back to them.
Will this Rule 55 discussion impact them? I don’t know. I hope they keep the rule in mind, at least, and think about it once in a while. The exercise impacted me, that’s for sure–it impressed upon me the fact that many students are heroes just for making it to school in one piece.
3 Comments
My Freakwentness
That is excellent. Schools do so much parenting nowadays they should just come right out and have family sciences class that all kids are required to take every year in small groups to experience Rule 55 discussions and study the issues they confront every day every day. I suppose kids who want to forget about their problems at school would be happy to open up more if they were in a truly safe place, like you tried to provide.
Second Sister
amazng. I think you're exactly right. I hope it impacted them,too like maybe gave them even the smallest feeling of empowerment in dark situations… perhaps?
Queenie
Well said. "Many students are heroes just for making it to school in one piece." And in my opinion, teachers are heroes for caring about them and daring to try to offer learning experiences like the one you created in your classroom. Who knows what difference it might make for one (or many) of them.