As a cooperating teacher overseeing a student teacher from a local university, I have a lot of time on my hands. Besides taking occasional notes on the student teacher’s strong and weak points, I’ve been working on some professional development projects, and reading The Economist as well as the recent novel Sticking Points by Shirley Kurtz, which I’m enjoying immensely.
For a diversion yesterday I posted an ad on my school district’s e-classifieds: “Wanted: advice. Reply to sender.” Here’s what I received back (from school personnel with too much time on their hands, presumably; here to read if you‘ve got too much time on your hands):
1. Buy low, sell high.
2. Advice for what? But here’s general advice: When choosing a course of action between two choices, choose the harder.
3. Don’t eat yellow snow.
4. What do you need advice with?
5. Proof read.
6. Always wait until Tuesday.
7. Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and then win with experience.
8. Check the expiration date.
9. Some people think they are generous because they give away free advice. (Tee hee).
10. Don’t eat yellow snow. (Yes, I received this twice.)
11. If your plastic surgeon has his lobby decorated with portraits by Picasso, get a second opinion.
12. Keep it simple.
13. Keep your powder dry.
14. Go big and don’t bail!
15. Live, Love and Laugh.
16. The art of carrying on…..is not to get carried away!
17. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
18. Maybe the best advice – Please follow directions carefully!
19. He who laughs last, thinks the slowest.
20. Bet on the gray horse.
21. Do or do not. There is no try.
22. When you change how you see things, you change the things you see.
23. In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life : IT GOES ON.
24. Choose your arguments. If it won’t matter 3 minutes, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years from now, then it’s not worth fussing over it!
25. Never kick a porcupine with bare feet.
26. The Joy of the Lord is my strength.
27. If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”
28. The quality of you life is determined by…10% what happens to you; 90% your reaction to those things.
29. To war against change is futile. Acceptance of change is effectual.
30. When in doubt choose letter c.
31. Get to Gettin it!!!!!!!!!!
32. NEVER believe what you hear and only HALF of what you see until you have proof!! Always have facts to back up anything.
33. It’s all good!
34. Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
35. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should……
36. “Always bet on black.” ~Wesley Snipes
37. Don’t pick at that.
38. Listen to your mother!
4 Comments
Jennifer Jo
Are you serious? Did people really send you all that stuff? It's hilarious!
Mavis
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did" Mark Twain
Anonymous
WOW
Anonymous
One more that may come in handy some time…Don't fry bacon in the nude.
God said it. I believe it. That settles it.
"Real Integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to
know whether you did it or not."