Acts 8:26-40

CHARACTERS:
God’s Angel, always flapping his wings
Philip, talking on his cell phone
Ethiopian official reading in a chariot riding along the road
A pond, standing beside the road, with a cup of water


GOD’S ANGEL, flapping his wings: Hey Phil!


PHILIP scared: Ahhh! What do you want?! (Into his cell phone) Honey, I’ve got to go…something’s come up.


GOD’S ANGEL, flapping his wings: At noon today, walk over to that one road going from Jerusalem to Gaza. Don’t wear your ear buds, and turn off that infernal cell phone, too.


PHILIP scared: Ahhh! Okay! I’m going!


Along the road, he meets the Ethiopian official, reading aloud from Isaiah.


OFFICIAL:  As a sheep led to slaughter,
      and quiet as a lamb being sheared,
   He was silent, saying nothing.
      He was mocked and put down, never got a fair trial.
   But who now can count his kin
      since he’s been taken from the earth?

GOD’S ANGEL, flapping his wings: Jump in that rig there, now!


PHILIP: What? No way. I’m not chariot jacker!


PHILIP runs along the official’s chariot.


OFFICIAL: Ahh! Awkward! Awkward! Door locks! Doesn’t this thing have any door locks! Police! Police!


PHILIP: Chill, dude. I just want to know what you’re reading. Do you understand it?


OFFICIAL: Uh, no. I have no one to explain it to me, so of course I’m clueless. Here, help me out.


PHILIP: Well….okay.


OFFICIAL: Tell me, who is the prophet talking about: himself or some other?


PHILIP: It’s about Martin Luther King, Jr.


GOD’S ANGEL, flapping his wings: What! Hold on, Phil–MLK had kids, and he talked a lot!


OFFICIAL: Who?


PHILIP: I mean, uh, Jesus! It’s about Jesus! The guy who said to be poor, and to share, and to be meek and humble and generous, and to waste perfume.


OFFICIAL: Hey, look–water! Why can’t I be baptized? 


PHILIP: You can! You can!


OFFICIAL: Stop the chariot! Stop the chariot!


Philip grabs the cup of water from the pond and pours it over them both.


God’s angel, flapping his wings, grabs Philip and takes him away. 


OFFICIAL: Huh. Curious. But now I’m alone. I’M ALL ALONE! I don’t mind, though. I’m really happy! Yippee! (Continues down the road.)


PHILIP, finding himself in Azotus: Wh…wh…what was that about?


GOD’S ANGEL, flapping his wings: Go to Caesarea, Phil, and keep on preaching.


PHILIP: Don’t you think that was a bit…abrupt? Where am I? 


GOD’S ANGEL, flapping his wings: The city of Ahh’s–Azotus! 


PHILIP: What? You’re kidding me! This is ridiculous. Oh well. (Sees a nameless passerby.) Hey, you! Have you been reading any good books lately?