Advent 2013 Drama 1: The Conception of John the Baptist

CHARACTERS:
Zachariah, aged, wearing an everyday shirt
Elizabeth, aged, wearing a covering
Angel Gabriel, carrying rolled up scroll
Crowdmember 1
Crowdmember 2
Crowdmember 3

SCENES:
Home with two seats
Temple inside, with incense
Temple outside

SCENE 1 (Elizabeth and Zechariah sitting at home):

Zachariah: I’m an old man, Lizzie.

Elizabeth: Oh, but you’re a good man.

Zachariah: That’s what God thinks, too. Not to brag or anything.

Elizabeth: And I’m an old woman, Zachy, sagging and bagging all over the place.

Zachariah: Oh, but honey, you’re a good woman, sags and all.

Elizabeth: That’s what God thinks, too. Not to brag or anything.

Zachariah: But God’s always right, you know.

Elizabeth: Yep. As the saying goes, “The Bible says it. I believe it. That does it.”

Zachariah: Except we’ve not been truly tested–err, I mean blessed.

Elizabeth: Right. (Sighing) No kids.

Zachariah: Bummer. It’s all your fault, of course.

Elizabeth: I know. It say so in the Bible.

Zachariah: It does? Oh rats and mouse traps! I’m late for temple duty again. I’d better run. Where are my camel keys?

Elizabeth: Don’t you want to put on a clean shirt?

Zachariah: Nah. I’ll be burning incense. It’ll cover up a multitude of sins.

SCENE 2 (In temple, crowds without):

Zachariah burns incense.


Gabriel appears. Zachariah, startled, slowly kneels onto his aging knees.

Zachariah: Oh, my knees. Why do I have to do this “fear the angel” thing every single December?

Gabriel: Don’t be afraid, dad.

Zachariah: Dad?

Gabriel: Yup. For your prayers have been heard and your wife Ellie–

Zachariah: You mean Elizabeth

Angel: Right. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a daughter–

Zachariah: A daughter?

Gabriel: Drat. Where’s my scroll? Let me just read this: Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will name him John. You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He must never drink wine or strong drink; even before his birth he will be filled with the Holy Spirit. He will turn many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. With the spirit and power of Elijah he will go before him, to turn the hearts of parents to their children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

Zachariah: Not to be a doubter, Angel, but I’m a bit skeptical. Rather dumbfounded, exactly. You see, I’m, uh, rather old, and my wife makes Methuselah look like a spring chicken. I mean, Lizzie’s so old her dentures have dentures.

Gabriel (angry, pulling self up to full height): I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. But now, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time, you will become mute, unable to speak, until the day these things occur.

SCENE 3 (Outside of the temple):

Crowdmember 1: Where is he? What’s taking him so long?

Crowdmember 2: Does burning incense release carbon monoxide?

Crowdmember 3: Or was he burning the incense that shipped in special from San Francisco?

Zachariah emerges, motioning with hands.

Crowdmember 1: Oh look! Charades!

Crowdmember 2: Chicken!

Crowdmember 1: Turkey!

Crowdmember 3: Some kind of bird…

Zachariah (grabs a tablet and writes): I’m apparently not the only dumb one here.

Crowdmember 1: Angel!

SCENE 4 (Elizabeth at home; Zechariah arrives):

Zachariah (writing excitedly): You’re pregnant. Or going to be.

Elizabeth: What?

Zachariah: (waves arms)

Elizabeth (loudly): WHAT? Have you been burning that California incense?

Zachariah (writing): Baby, Lizzie-baby! Baby!

Elizabeth: I’m almost pregnant? Yippee!

Crowdmember 1: Curtain! Curtain! Somebody quick pull the curtain!